Whether we realise it or not, each of us has a distinct manner in which we express ourselves in the workplace. Although there are vast individual differences, psychologists typically identify four communication styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. Each style comes with its own strengths and weaknesses and can greatly influence various aspects of our work life, such as making a lasting impression during an interview, influencing our chances of receiving a promotion, or building connections with our team. In this guide, we will cover the four types of communication styles, their characteristics, and how to respond to them as a manager.

Passive communication style

A passive communicator is someone who is reluctant to express their feelings, ideas, or opinions. Often, others are left guessing what they need or what they are thinking. 

Characteristics of a passive communicator

Fear of confrontation: Passive communicators are typically afraid of being a burden to others and avoid confrontation at all costs. For example, instead of kindly asking their workmates to stop chatting loudly, a passive communicator might say, “It’s fine, I’ll just wear headphones.”

Can’t say the word ‘no’: Passive communicators often prioritize others’ needs over their own. In the workplace setting, this may manifest in them agreeing to do all tasks, including unimportant ones, even if they don’t have the skills, desire, or bandwidth to do them.

Speak softly or apologetically: Passive communicators frequently minimize their own value and contribution. During an important meeting, they might preface their input by saying, “This might be a silly idea, but…”

How to deal with a passive employee

People exhibiting passive tendencies often find themselves doing tasks they don’t want to do or agreeing to commitments that overload their schedules, leading to stress and dissatisfaction. 

When dealing with a passive communicator, it is important to pay attention to their non-verbal cues. Ask yourself questions like, “Do they say ‘yes’ to every task even when they’re visibly stressed?” and “Do they stay silent in meetings?” If you’ve noticed this pattern, approach them respectfully; give them space to express themselves and ask open-ended questions that allow for deeper conversations.

Aggressive communication style

An aggressive communicator is the opposite of a passive communicator; they express their opinions and feelings in an overly forceful manner, often without considering the feelings of others.

Characteristics of an aggressive communicator

Uses intimidating language: They may tell a struggling colleague, “If you were smart and did as I said, you wouldn’t be having these problems.”

Interrupts and speaks over others: An aggressive communicator might cut off a colleague in the middle of a sentence, saying, “Let me explain what we’ll do,” thereby disregarding the other person.

Makes assumptions without facts: They may accuse a team member of missing a deadline by stating, “You are not pulling your weight,” without knowing the actual reasons for the delay.

How to deal with an aggressive person at work

Though often associated with narcissists and demanding CEOs, this communication style can be adopted by anyone. When dealing with an aggressive employee, it is important to remain calm and professional. Avoid arguing back or retaliating as this will only further escalate the situation. Acknowledge the person’s feelings, but do not be afraid to stand your ground. Make sure to offer solutions instead of pointing out the problem, and keep the communication as constructive as possible.

Passive-aggressive communication style

At first glance, passive-aggressive communication may seem like the passive behavior mentioned before. However, the main difference between passive and passive-aggressive communicators is that the latter act out of hidden anger. This anger stems from built-up resentment due to an inability to set boundaries, express feelings, ideas, and concerns. 

Characteristics of a passive-aggressive communicator

Use subtle comments or hints: Passive-aggressive communicators might roll their eyes, use sarcasm, or give backhanded compliments because they believe they’ve been mistreated in the past. It’s their way of “getting back.”

Avoid open and honest communication: Instead of clearly stating their needs or discontent, passive-aggressive communicators may resort to evasive maneuvers, such as quiet quitting or verbally agreeing to tasks but then procrastinating, as a way to express dissatisfaction indirectly.

Sabotage: Instead of addressing their concerns (for example, with a manager over not receiving a pay raise), passive-aggressive employees might hinder projects to subtly “punish” the company. They may slow down progress by withholding vital information or give excuses when they miss deadlines.

How to deal with a passive-aggressive employee

Since passive-aggressive employees avoid open communication, their needs remain unaddressed, and managers are often left wondering, “Why are they acting this way?” or “What did I do?”. Over time, such behavior can lead to strained relationships, decreased productivity, and a toxic work environment. When dealing with a passive-aggressive communicator, it is important to address the underlying issue in a calm and respectful manner rather than getting drawn into an argument or confrontation. Acknowledge their feelings and offer constructive solutions that can help them express themselves more openly. Finally, be patient as it can take time to break down the barriers of a passive-aggressive communicator.

Assertive communication style

Assertive communication is the most balanced mode of communication, placing equal importance on all people involved. Assertive individuals know how to express their disappointments and wishes while also being able to listen to and respect the viewpoints of others.

Characteristics of an assertive communicator

Directly state what they need: Assertive communicators express themselves confidently without beating around the bush or resorting to passive-aggressive tactics. For example, when faced with an unrealistic deadline, they might say, “I’m not comfortable with the current deadline. Can we discuss extending it?”

Respect different points of view: Assertive communicators actively listen to others’ perspectives without feeling threatened or defensive. For instance, during a team meeting, they might say, “I value your opinion, and I would like to share my perspective on this matter.”

Know how to set boundaries: Assertive communicators are adept at setting clear boundaries to protect their time, energy, and wellbeing. For example, they might state, “I don’t have the bandwidth to take on additional responsibilities at the moment.”

How to deal with an assertive employee

An assertive communicator knows how to maintain a work-life balance. They don’t hold grudges like passive communicators, yet they also don’t push others away like aggressive ones. Assertive communicators are fairly easy to deal with as they are usually open and honest. When engaging in conversations with them, focus on listening and understanding their point of view rather than trying to impose your own.

How to communicate assertively as a manager

We can all start being more assertive at work by following this formula:

1. Acknowledge the employee’s perspective.
2. State the behavior of the employee.
3. The results of this behavior.

For example: “I can see that you’ve been working extra hard lately, but when you’re consistently late to our team meetings, it can disrupt the flow of discussion and affect team collaboration.” or “I appreciate your motivation and enthusiasm, but I am concerned that by agreeing to these new tasks, you might not be able to fulfill your main responsibilities. This could potentially impact the team’s progress and create additional pressure for everyone involved.”

Summary

Understanding the communication styles of others—and your own—can help prevent toxicity in the workplace. With people who lean towards a passive communication style, it’s important to encourage them to express themselves and understand their career aspirations and boundaries to prevent burnout, resentment and sabotage towards you or the company. On the other hand, if you have an aggressive employee in your team, it may be best to remain calm, and seek support from your manager, HR, or other appropriate channels. As for your own communication, adopting an assertive communication style is the most effective. By acknowledging others’ perspectives, clearly stating behaviors and their consequences, and expressing concerns in a constructive manner, you can enhance communication and productivity within your team.